Sorry for the lack of pictures, I am not sure what to post as far as pictures go, either way I hope you enjoy the read.
So there has not been an update in quite some time, and while I apologize for that, there was a lot going on. Some stuff that I wanted to write about got side lined because of life circumstances. You see, in around August the company I was working for announced that they were closing the office in California. This came as a shock to all in the office as all we had been hearing about was record growth, and how much work needed to be done. As I am sure you can imagine it put a pause on many things. You may say something like, “Why are you just telling us about this now?” or “Well if you did not have a job it sounds like you had plenty of time to write blogs” or perhaps you are more like “Who are you, and how did I even get to this blog?”. While I cannot answer that third question, that is between you and the links you click on, the first is pretty easy to answer, in short, I was not letting everyone in my life know about the change in employment, and I wanted to wait until they all knew before telling them in this manner. Why did I not blog while I had time in abundance? Well, that I do not have a very good answer for, I was not sure what to write about, my thoughts and emotions were all over the place. But let us back up and start from a point worth starting from.
Have you ever gotten a flat on the freeway, or run out of gas and had to pull the car over and walk to a place you could get the assistance you needed? You might say, “Well if it was a flat I would just change the tire.”, and to that I would say “Certainly” but that does not really work with our analogy, so for the sake of writing, assume this was your spare. That is how life was going for my family and I, we were doing well, cruising along in life and then suddenly, the tire blew, and as we pulled over the tank ran out of gas. Poor planning on my part, sure I can accept that. Others may suggest something like “Where is your God now?” or some other callous statement. In short I can safely say that my God, my King is still in control of all things (more on this later). In the moment, things can seem a bit hopeless, you are on the highway of life and you are not sure where a gas station is at, you have no cell reception to call anyone, and you do not see a call box, hope you have good shoes on, because you have to hoof it from here.
Where is your God now? I would refer you to Lamentations 3:22 a poetic book, where God has turned against His rebellious people, and even in the midst of this destruction, we are told that by His mercies we are not consumed. In the same chapter, we are told in verse 38 “Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that everything comes – calamity and blessing?” Because He is in control, and because He declared this situation to happen as well, I no longer fear what uncertainty may come, as a sister in Christ reminded me in dealing with her own struggles, Job said “Shall we receive good from God and not evil?” However, there have been tremendous blessings in these circumstances as well, even in this trial, judgement, discipline, whatever it may be, God has shown my family love, and mercy, and generosity, and also my brothers and sisters in Christ have given a great out pouring of their own goods in supplying our needs. So to the naysayer I say “God is the good Father, the righteous Judge, and my Provider”.
While I do not claim to know why God has chosen this path for our family, I do know since this event my wife and I have gotten deeper into His word. I used to worry so much that if I lost my job at any point in time we would not be able to provide for our family beyond the bills we already had paid for that month. It has been three months since my job was taken, and we have not been at a loss for anything. So, while I have not been able to get a new job, all of our needs have been met, and we have had want for nothing. In addition to all of this, my wife and I were talking about trying to have another child before we found out about my job situation, test after test came back negative, and once we got the news we stopped trying, but then shortly thereafter we found that my wife was with child, I do not say this in terms of the Oh-no!-What-will-we-do kind of panic, but that we were being blessed with another child, and all the while God was planning on providing, as He has from the start until now.
Over and over in scripture we are told not to fear, or that God is in control, and while I happily could parrot those words, I do not know that I really believed them. I mean sure, He is in control when it comes to the cosmos, or keeping creation together, but my trust for provisions for my family was something I arrogantly put into my abilities. I was trusting in the promises brought about by money, and not realizing that the whole time that my trust should have been in God and all His provisions, and that all I had to begin with was from Him. To be clear, I was not in love with money, I just trusted that as long as the money was coming in from my job, we would be taken care of. God has used these circumstances to show me that it was not money providing for my family, but He that provided for all of our needs, and blessed us with abundance. I will end this by saying that while our struggles do not compare with those around the world suffering for the name of our King, He is good, and has not forsaken us even in the smallest of things.